Archive for December, 2009

Never Give Up

December 23, 2009

Everytime I remember Michele Obama’s inspiring speech to the grads at the new UC campus in Merced, I’m of two minds. (But then what Jew doesn’t have at least two opinions about everything….didn’t Woody Allen say “I am at two with the universe?”)

On the one hand I know all the “Little Engine that Could” stuff…It’s great when you come up against an obstacle and overcome it. But what happens when you can’t overcome it? Is the only choice giving up?

How many people are there out there who are out of work and trying really hard to get a job? They’re doing all the right stuff: retraining, studying, moving, networking.

And how many people can’t afford their new house payments, even if they do still have a job?

And how many of us got to where we are (or at least where we “were”), by diligent perseverence?

Well, what happens when all your tricks and tools don’t work anymore? What happens is self esteem goes in the toilet. Except it’s worse than that. If you’ll pardon the metaphor, it goes in the toilet but you can’t flush it away…It just sits there and affects everything in the room. You start seeing the world through that “smell” of feeling really badly about yourself.

So it’s really hard to keep “trying” the old stuff…One option seems to be just to give up. To give in to all those voices telling you you’re worthless and might as well just go back to bed.

I’ve been there.

But I also saw the following different take on not giving up. It’s from the Dalai Lama:

“Never give up; No matter what is going on Never give up. Develop the heart; Too much energy in your country Is spent developing the mind, Instead of the heart. Develop the heart. Be compassionate; Not just with your friends, But with everyone. Be compassionate. Work for peace; In your heart, And in the world. Work for peace. And I say again, Never give up. No matter what is going on around you, Never give up.”

Hanukah is past, xmas is around the corner….go find someone to be nice to. Go find someone worse off than you…..You’ll be amazed at how many there are.

It’s that time of year

December 11, 2009

Ok so tonight is the first night of Chanukah. (I never knew how to spell that word. I know if you’ve got 3 Jews you’ve got 4 congrgations, but if you’ve got 3 Jews how many spellings of Hanukah do you get?). And the other night I went to one of those Berkeley Hinjew events that those of you not from the left coast would never understand. It was a Shakti festival, celebrating the divine feminine. There was candle lighting and flame everywhere in the dark room. I imagine before there was even this Hindu Diety, I imagine there were alot of very frightened proto Indians watching the days get shorter just like in the middle east. What must it be like to live only from the light of the sun and moon and the flame from fires or torches.

The great fear of darkness that so many kids experience  has fostered a huge industry of night lights and probably has contributed more to global warming than all the new cars in China. It’s in our very DNA. And yet we go through life pretending we’re not scared, because we’re sure we’re the only frightened people around. After all you’re supposed to “grow out” of this childhood terror.

Yet across the globe, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, and I imagine every faith that exists has at its root a celebration of light held as the deepest dark of winter lies ahead. In fact maybe religion itself is a response to these terrors. What would the world be like if we just fessed up to the fact that we’re scared most of the time. We certainly have lots of very real things to be frightened about. Danger is everywhere, the planet is sinking, Osama is somewhere, I have an ingrown toenail, you can’t get a job or got foreclosed or are underemployed or or or or……

But even if none of this was happening, we’d still be afraid of the metaphorical dark…the unknown, the unknowable. And what would it be like if everyone just admitted that? Then this supreme disconnection people feel from each other might just fade away. Because we’d see how similar everyone really is! Just a bunch of ‘fraidy cats….Welcome to the club.

If you hold your breath long enough, the days will get longer…..

Shakespeare was definitely not Jewish

December 8, 2009

Aside from the Merchant of Venice, Hamlet gives us a clue to the Bard’s attitudes. When Hamlet realized “there is neither good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” he realized something that escapes so many of us. Maybe it’s the power of Talmudic teachings. Maybe that our mothers told us to be doctors. If that didn’t work, lawyers would do, but nothing else. We’ve always been able to figure things out. I mean what other religion can argue with God and actually change His mind. Though I’m no Bible scholar, a buddy told me Abraham had a conversation with God when the Big Guy was planning to eighty six Sodom. Abe reasoned with the Lord, and plans changed….If I may say so it’s a bit persumptuous, not to say pretentious.  But it’s right there in Genesis. And ever since Jews have had this great faith in the power of reason and turning a good phrase. On to day and Jews generally believe they can solve whatever befalls them if they just think hard enough.

But it’s not just the learned Bard, who realized the shortcomings of the intellect. No greater cultural icon than Curly Howard (of Three Stooges fame) reminds us:

“I try to stop thinking but nothing happens.”

Or the great Laurel and Hardy dialogue in The Flying Deuces:

STAN: Well, I know if it was me, I’d sit down and relax, I’d close my eyes, and I’d concentrate and I’d think of nothing. Wouldn’t belong then, that’s what I’d do.

OLLIE: Say, I think you’ve got something there.

STAN: I know I’ve got something. Why don’t you take a whirl at it?

OLLIE [sits down, supports his chin in his hands, and closes his eyes]

STAN: Now don’t think of anything.

OLLIE: I won’t.

But the greatest nod to the belief in the mind’s great talents are overrated comes to us through the great Greek author, Nikos Kazantzakis, and his protagonist, Zorba:

“You think too much, that is your trouble. Clever people and grocers, they weigh everything.”

Somehow because we’ve had to listen to them for so long, we give so much power to those silent noises apparently emanating from somewhere between our ears . Now I don’t mean to denigrate the power of science, technology and intellectual prowess. After all, the Enlightenment was in large part a response to a lot of hocus pocus. The font of scientific inquiry has brought us untold rewards including fireplaces, flush toilets, clean water, and polio vaccines, not to mention 320 kinds of toothpaste, 435 ways to get your coffee in the morning, 17 kinds of Downy Fabric Softener, and the ultimate dilemma of “paper or plastic.”

But it’s also left us remarkably unable to deal with the essential groundlessness of being human. When, contrary to all efficient planning and effective problem solving, the s___ hits the fan, we become hapless victims of circumstance. And it is here that the wisdom of the heart is the only effective tool to negotiate when rationality falls short. One doesn’t need to be a Buddhist to understand the impermanence of all things. Everything changes.

What is one to do when economic calamity comes out of nowhere? What happens when it’s not possible to get the new job? What happens when uncertainty is the rule not the exception. I don’t have the answer. But I do know that trying to think my way out of the situation just leaves me chasing my tail.


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